Episode 75: Orson Welles' Lost Silent Film

How much Johnson is too much? Jeff and Scott try to solve this age-old conundrum in this week's Unknown Movie Challenge, as they watch the first film directed by Orson Welles, a silent curio from 1938 which stars most of the Mercury Theater.

Episode 73: Harley Quinn Vs. The Court Jester

CLOWNS GET DOWN in this UFC-style cage match fight between Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn, and Danny Kaye as The Court Jester.

Episode 69: Terminator Dark Fate

This is a historic episode: number 69. We don't like to brag, but rarely does a foul-mouthed little podcast get to 69 episodes without a filthy, elbow-nudging 'Sixty-Nine" joke, and yet...we did it! How, you ask? Well, we attribute it to clean living,  high morals, and the fact that Scott didn't tell Jeff it was Episode 69, and he doesn't care and doesn't keep track of these things because he's not a weird little Gollum-esque obsessive like Scott.

So here you go. We talk about Edward D. Wood, Jr. and Terminator: Dark Fate. Do we draw a parallel between the two? An incredibly insulting parallel? Well, funny you should mention that, because we...Nah. We won't spoil it for you.

Episode 67: Dinosaurs and Harley-Davidsons

Jeff goes to It Chapter 2 to find closure, while Scott goes to the 40th Anniversary screening of Breaking Away to find Undead Paul Dooley. Then it's Larry Cohen's Q: The Winged Serpent (1982) starring Michael Moriarty as an aging Baby Driver who falls in with a homicidal femme fatale who also happens to be an ancient Aztec god (can this marriage be saved?) versus The Rebel Rousers (1970), featuring Diane Ladd as a pregnant spokesmodel for Scotch, and Bruce Dern as a kindly Hell's Angel from an alternate dimension.

Episode 60: US Meets CAPTAIN MARVEL

Jeff and Scott chat about the peculiar way the new Joker trailer made them feel, then they debate the merits and demerits of Jordan Peele's Us and ultimately decide it's the best Easter Bunny movie since the Rankin-Bass holiday classic Here Comes Peter Cottontail.

Jeff remembers his mom's love of horror movies, while Scott recalls his Dickensian childhood reading crappy screenplays in a Victorian blacking factory, then they join hands and keep the lagomorph theme alive by plunging down a bottomless rabbit hole as they celebrate the joys and sorrows of dallying at the dollar theater. Finally, the entire New Movie Crew triumphantly returns to talk Captain Marvel, with many helpful tips on the care and feeding of Flerken.

Now put on your anti-alien cat eye protection and let's hit PLAY!

Episode 59: Harlequin (1980)

Jim Donahue, writer for the Daily Grindhouse joins Scott and Jeff for an all Unknown Movie Challenge show. This time, it's the 1980 Australian oddity Harlequin (AKA Dark Forces), starring Jesus of Nazareth as Rasputin, and David Hemmings from Blow-Up as a British dude pretending to be an Australian dude pretending to be an American confused about his nationality. Basically, it's Tropic Thunder gadding about in David Bowie's old Ziggy Stardust costume.

Maids melt, birds die, clowns float. You will never be the same...

Slumgullion Episode 57: Old Dark Glass Houses

Scott and Jeff try to agree about Star Trek Discovery but keep getting distracted, then agree to disagree about Glass, which made Scott extremely grumpy. Then horror novelist Steve Van Samson (Bone Eater King) joins them for the Unknown Movie Challenge and makes them watch The Old Dark House, which turns out to be the cure for grumpiness.

Have a potato.

It's Like a Lifetime TV Movie with Muff

Jeff and Scott watch The Predator and The House With a Clock in Its Walls. and try to decide if this much "meh!" is the byproduct of an industrial accident, or whether it's cooked up deliberately in mobile Meh! Labs by renegade high school chemistry teachers.

Then they tackle the Unknown Movie Challenge -- Strip Nude For Your Killer -- and are forced to turn in their Man Cards and burn their Italian bun-huggers, much like women incinerated their brassieres during the height of Second Wave Feminism.

Episode 48: Babylon 5, Deadpool 2, Solo 1...and Done

Jeff and Scott have come not to praise Deadpool 2 but to...Well, actually to praise it, but they get distracted by the release of Babylon 5 on Amazon Prime (which sounds like we're stuck in yet another stupid Star Trek timeline), and the Shakespeare in the Park production of Pirates of Penzance, starring Kevin Kline, Linda Rondstadt, and Rex Smith as Street Hawk!

Then it's on to the mean streets of Corellia (A Quinn Martin Production) for Solo: A Star Wars Story:

Supermen Against the Orient (1973)

Jeff and Scott are joined by distinguished porn researcher Indy McDaniel to discuss zombies and superheroes, Klingon breasts, The Disaster Artist, the Forgotten Shannons of Softcore,  I, Tonya, why Star Wars Battlefront II is like a casino, but not a nice one on the Las Vegas strip, but more like a crappy one next to a gas station and diner on a frontage road off I-15. For the Unknown Movie Challenge we suck it up and take on the 1973 Hong Kong-Italian kung fu superhero smash-up, Supermen Against the Orient, which has a theme song you have to hear to believe. And believe me, you're gonna hear it.


Also available on Stitcher and iTunes

Larry Blamire Versus Thor!

This episode we're joined by Writer-Director-Actor-Author-Human-Hyphen Larry Blamire (Lost Skeleton of Cadavra, Dark and Stormy Night) to talk about his two-fisted pulp novel, Doc Armstrong: Suburb on the Edge of Never, which has recently been awarded a coveted Third Fist by the National Association of Pulp Producers' Sub-Committee on Fist Metrics.

We also chat about Larry's graphic novel series, Steam Wars, his book of Western horror stories, Tales of the Callamo Mountains, and its upcoming sequel, and his three alternate universe dictionaries, Larry Blamire's Blammary: Terms You May Not Know: With Unrelated Illustrations #1, #2, and #3.

Also, a whole lot of goofy stuff, and even a few tough, probing, thoughtful questions, but the answers are hard to understand, because everybody's eating scones.

Then we make a seamless transition to the Unknown Movie Challenge, as the New Movie Crew has its legally binding say on Thor: Ragnarok.


Also available on Stitcher and iTunes

GrITs!

Finally, The Slumgullion Returns! With Mrs. C! Star Wars! Firefly! Running Gags! Two non Stephen King fans talking about a Stephen King movie!


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It's a Reboot to a Reboot That's Also A Sequel to Another Movie (Kill Me)

Welcome back! Sorry for the delay -- there have been a multitude of weird, inexplicable, possibly curse-related injuries and illnesses plaguing the staff lately -- but we hope to make it up to you today with a pretty good show.

In Part I, Scott and Jeff chat about a couple of fun geeky things, and a whole lot of death. Then Jeff Holland, Man-Baby Hunter, paddles upstream against the tears of male Doctor Who fans who are squeamish because the incoming lady time lord might find a new, off-label use for the Sonic Screwdriver, and it could totally void the warranty! Don't you even care?

Then it's time for the Unknown Movie Challenge, where the whole New Movie Crew goes back to high school for Spider-Man: Homecoming. Please join us for this rockin' sock hop, and visit the refreshment table for punch, Skittles, Clearasil, and self-loathing.

(Here's a link to the trailer for Darkest Hour that Jeff was raving about during one of his raves)

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I Went Straight For Ten Minutes!

Welcome to Season 2, Episode 4. Jeff returns! To scream at Scott! First, Jeff and Mary catch up on the last few episodes of Bones; then Scott and Jeff are joined by suave Brit Dave Probert, of the Twice as Bright, Half as Long podcast, to chat briefly about Logan, the new Twin Peaks, 50 Shades Darker, and Erich von Stroheim as The Batman. Scott reports from the premiere of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 pilot, then Dave brings us the Trojan Horse-like gift of A Pound of Flesh, a 2015 movie starring Jean-Claude Van Damme's naked, naked ass.


P.S. Here's a link to the piece Scott wrote about the Lou Ferrigno Hercules movie mentioned on the show.

Things To Come

As promised and/or threatened in the Year End Special, we'll be posting a schedule of films for the Unknown Movie Challenge, so you may, if you're so inclined, bone up before the podcast. You can also go all multimedia on our asses and send in your own thoughts on the subject film. MP3s received before Thursday, January 12 will be played on this weekend's show. Emails will be read on the following episode. Send your musings, mullings, low comedy and high dudgeon to: theslumgullion@aol.com.

This week's UMC will be a twofer of hubris and homosexual subtext on the Leopold and Loeb killings -- Alfred Hitchcock's ROPE, with Jimmy Stewart and Farley Granger, and 1959's COMPULSION, with Dean Stockwell and Orson Welles.

A more comprehensive list of upcoming films will be posted as soon as Jeff recovers from his kidnapping and transportation across state lines for immoral purposes.