Better Living Through Bad Movies Presents: APRIL FOOL'S DAY (1986)

 Join us for VH-1's "I Hate the 80's!". This week, it's the Movie that thinks it's a Prank (but is actually a joke)!

Yes I'm Still Bitching About New Breed

I admit, I can't let it go, because this remains the single worst movie I have ever sat through, in a long life spent staring at a lot of crap films. This is the champ. I'd blame Jeff for finding it, but he did warn me, and I must conclude, as Jimmy Buffett did in Margaritaville, "It's my own damn fault." So join me in my rage, won't you?

P.S. Sorry it's been so long between podcast episodes. We will be back soon with a new one (already half recorded) as soon as Jeff gets through some medical issues this coming. Please stay tuned.

Sappho, Venus of Lesbos (1960)

This week at Better Living Through Bad Movies, it's our extremely confusing Valentine's Day presentation: Sappho, Venus of Lesbos (1960), starring Tina Louise and one of the Sinbads!

Click here to get confused!

This week at Better Living Through Bad Movies, it's bodybuilder-on-Broderick Crawford violence in a sword-and-sandaler so weird Hercules took his name off the project. Please join us for Goliath and the Dragon.

New Year's Evil (1980)

It's New Years Eve, 1980, and that means one thing...

It's time to SPIN OUT and BOIL YOUR HAIR!

Schwarzenegger's First Film: Hercules in New York (1970)

"Our story opens at the summit of Mount Olympus, where the Greek gods, in their limitless wisdom, have chosen to live on the steps of a community college library on Long Island. Arnold Schwarzenegger (”Arnold Strong” in the credits) is Hercules, a demi-god celebrated in myth and legend for his ability to recite lines phonetically. On earth, Hercules was lauded as the mightiest of warriors, while on Olympus he is chiefly famous for showing off his veiny, trunk-like thighs in a side-slit mini skirt.

Hercules is bored in the realm of the gods, but Zeus will not permit him to visit earth, because, “these mortals are bedeviled by as aggravating a collection of annoyances as it’s possible for one to imagine,” so adding Arnold to the situation would just be gilding the lily. When it’s pointed out to Hercules that he’s only a demi-god anyway, and should quit putting on airs, Arnold slowly recites, “My father may have been a mortal, but you Zeus, my father, are a god.” So, Hercules Has Two Daddies."

Read the rest on Better Living Through Bad Movies

Better Living Through Bad Movies Presents: The Island (2005)

[NOTE: If you’re cast in a movie where you play a 4-year old clone who knows nothing and needs everything explained, then 85% of your performance is going to consist of this expression.]

"We should probably address the controversy up front. Some denounce this film as a shameless rip-off of  Parts: The Clonus Horror, an obscure 1979 horror movie which featured Peter Graves and the relief Darren from Bewitched, and starred that guy who played the Gene Shalit-looking fireman on Emergency! And sure, The Island does seem to recycle the premise and every major plot point of the earlier film, but that’s okay, because it’s a copy of a movie about cloning! Which is a brilliant metatextual critique of its own thematic gestalt! Or, you know, plagiarism. Whatever."

Now it's your chance to book a fabulous, Five Day, Six Night All-Inclusive Stay at The Island, America's leading resort for Home Brew Homo sapiens. Click here to read.