The Last Jedi

Our pilot episode was The Force Awakens. Last holiday season was Rogue One. And now for our second anniversary show, it's The Last Jedi. Scott and the New Movie Crew dive into the film, while Jeff wades into the Swamp of Sadness and goes bobbing for butt-hurt fans.




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One Magic Christmas (1985)

Better Living Through Bad Movies presents: One Magic Christmas (1985). Mary Steenburgen won't say "Merry Christmas," so Santa hires Harry Dean Stanton to kill her entire family in this ill-considered attempt at a heartwarming holiday classic by the Walt Disney Company.

He's a Christmas angel. No really...he is.

Supermen Against the Orient (1973)

Jeff and Scott are joined by distinguished porn researcher Indy McDaniel to discuss zombies and superheroes, Klingon breasts, The Disaster Artist, the Forgotten Shannons of Softcore,  I, Tonya, why Star Wars Battlefront II is like a casino, but not a nice one on the Las Vegas strip, but more like a crappy one next to a gas station and diner on a frontage road off I-15. For the Unknown Movie Challenge we suck it up and take on the 1973 Hong Kong-Italian kung fu superhero smash-up, Supermen Against the Orient, which has a theme song you have to hear to believe. And believe me, you're gonna hear it.


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Episode 41: Justice League

Or: A Meditation on the Nature of Heroism and Invisible Mustache Rides.

Scott and Jeff discuss the new Star Wars movie, Han Solo: Why?, then make Star Trek: Discovery and The Orville square off and fight like Rock 'Em, Sock 'Em Robots. Afterwards, the New Movie Crew gives Justice League a lot of mixed signals, but decide they might go home with it anyway because it's almost closing time, when Jeff is suddenly sucked away by a storm like Dorothy Gale.

Larry Blamire Versus Thor!

This episode we're joined by Writer-Director-Actor-Author-Human-Hyphen Larry Blamire (Lost Skeleton of Cadavra, Dark and Stormy Night) to talk about his two-fisted pulp novel, Doc Armstrong: Suburb on the Edge of Never, which has recently been awarded a coveted Third Fist by the National Association of Pulp Producers' Sub-Committee on Fist Metrics.

We also chat about Larry's graphic novel series, Steam Wars, his book of Western horror stories, Tales of the Callamo Mountains, and its upcoming sequel, and his three alternate universe dictionaries, Larry Blamire's Blammary: Terms You May Not Know: With Unrelated Illustrations #1, #2, and #3.

Also, a whole lot of goofy stuff, and even a few tough, probing, thoughtful questions, but the answers are hard to understand, because everybody's eating scones.

Then we make a seamless transition to the Unknown Movie Challenge, as the New Movie Crew has its legally binding say on Thor: Ragnarok.


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Halloween (1978): Improved by Polka!

You know how it goes on The Slumgullion. What started off as a respectful, even adulatory discussion of John Carpenter's music career turned into something weird -- as our conversations tend to do -- and before you know it, words were exchanged, a challenge was laid down, and now, well...

See for yourself:

Halloween Special 2017

We all know that the active cultures in yogurt can help keep you regular. But not every spoiled milk product has the bowel-blasting power of Activia. It's the same way with horror movies. Some get the job done, some leave you stranded on the porcelain, but in this year's Halloween special, Jeff and Scott identify two films that go do that voodoo that horror films are supposed to do. And they're not afraid to name names.

MUSIC NOTE: The opening theme is from the OST, not Anthology. Jeff regrets the error, because it was totally his fault, not Scott's.



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Exorcist II: The Heretic

It's Halloween, and we're celebrating with another preview of Better Living Through Bad Movies II: The Sequelizer. This time, John Szura and Blanche Ramirez go full Mercury Theater to bring you the spine-tingling horror that is Exorcist II: The Heretic, a film that ruthlessly kills priests, grasshoppers, and Linda Blair's career. Enjoy!

Replicans and Replicants

The latest Slumgullion has dropped, and on this episode, the New Movie Crew goes back to the future to see Blade Runner 2049, then forward, into the past to visit Blade Runner, then laterally, into an alternate dimension where The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner starred Marvel's daywalking vampire Blade!

Join us, won't you, and listen as Ryan... whatshisname... BabyGoose?... screws up a lot, while Harrison Ford spends 30 years abusing Endust in Vegas!

Late To The Party

Episode 38 is here, or as we like to think of it, 38 Special!

Okay, we'll stop thinking of it that way.

Current events have sent a tender and bruised Jeff scurrying for his safe space - talk radio. Meanwhile, Ike returns to face off against Mother!, while the remains of a Revolutionary War soldier musically whines about how long it's taking his own mom to come collect his corpse.

Then it's spies, housewifely drug lords, and implied buttsecks with the composer of The Lion King, as the New Movie Crew gathers at Golden Corral to watch Kingsman: The Golden Circle.


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GrITs!

Finally, The Slumgullion Returns! With Mrs. C! Star Wars! Firefly! Running Gags! Two non Stephen King fans talking about a Stephen King movie!


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The Good, The Bad, And The Annoyingly Ugly

Scott and Jeff are joined by Mrs. C for some Star Wars and Star Trek news, before chatting about the pilot for the Joss Whedon series Firefly, because life is a brief candle, all too soon burnt out, so you should find as many new and exciting ways to waste it as possible.

Then The Dark Tower sets Jeff's tongue on fire, and it runs around his mouth for a good ten minutes, completely forgetting to stop, drop, and roll. Finally, the Unknown Movie Challenge this episode is Atomic Blonde, and features a UMC first: a completely spoiler-free review! If you don't count Scott's overly detailed exegesis of James McAvoy's elevator shoes.

[NOTE: Audacity came down with a very nasty cough while editing the UMC segment. If you hear an audible hiccup in that sequence, Jeff requests you blame the editing software, not him.]

It's a Reboot to a Reboot That's Also A Sequel to Another Movie (Kill Me)

Welcome back! Sorry for the delay -- there have been a multitude of weird, inexplicable, possibly curse-related injuries and illnesses plaguing the staff lately -- but we hope to make it up to you today with a pretty good show.

In Part I, Scott and Jeff chat about a couple of fun geeky things, and a whole lot of death. Then Jeff Holland, Man-Baby Hunter, paddles upstream against the tears of male Doctor Who fans who are squeamish because the incoming lady time lord might find a new, off-label use for the Sonic Screwdriver, and it could totally void the warranty! Don't you even care?

Then it's time for the Unknown Movie Challenge, where the whole New Movie Crew goes back to high school for Spider-Man: Homecoming. Please join us for this rockin' sock hop, and visit the refreshment table for punch, Skittles, Clearasil, and self-loathing.

(Here's a link to the trailer for Darkest Hour that Jeff was raving about during one of his raves)

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Jupiter Ascending Colon

After you've listened to the new show, head on over to World O' Crap and kill even more time by checking out our new, Better Living Through Bad Movies review of the Wachowski's Jupiter Ascending.

Dear Spike And Cronenberg: We're Sorry

Welcome to Season 2, Episode 10: Sickies!

You may have thought Jeff and Scott were abducted by aliens but the truth is much worse. There is tragedy, there is pain, there is discussion that bounces all over the pop culture landscape, including thoughts on Wonder Woman, Marvel vs. DC, MST3K old and new, House of Cards, the Black Panther trailer and most importantly, their mutual love of the classic Universal monster films and Jeff's total hatred of The Mummy.

Alien Meets Charlie Chan!

Season 2, Episode 9

Scott and Jeff engage in a spirited debate about ALIEN: COVENANT - Is it the best thing since sliced bread? Or the worst thing since loose wheat excreted by a Tribble?

For the Unknown Movie Challenge, we pull back the shoji screen to reveal a shocking ménage à trois of stereotypes as three Fake Asian (or "Fasian") detectives of the 1930s compete for the title of Miss Most Racist! Join Charlie Chan, Mr. Moto, Mr. Wong, and Special Guest Star the Xenomorph.

{Note: Thanks to slight technical difficulties, the episode ends rather abruptly, with a Newsies joke. Our apologies to Mr. Wong, who gets short shrift.]

Guardians of the Sleepy Hollow

Season 2, Episode 8

Scott arrives late! Jeff leaves early! There's a game show, a funeral, and a lengthy arbitration process governing who gets screenplay credit for Elektra (2005). In other words, it's the Confuse-A-Cat edition of The Slumgullion this week, as we mourn the passing of Sleepy Hollow, dead at the age of four. But the show gets a deservedly stylish send-off as we chat with M. Raven Metzner (the "M" stands for "Mysterious" we've decided, since he never did tell us what it actually means), co-executive producer, and writer of the season (and series) finale, "Freedom".

Then the New Movie Crew arrives to review Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2 by playing "What's My Line?"

It'll make sense when you hear it.

(In the spirit of making sense, we should mention that the interview was conducted before Sleepy Hollow's cancellation was announced, so you're spared our joint crying jag.)

Crisis on Infinite Slumgullions!

Season 2, Episode 7

WORLD'S COLLIDE in this massive, CW-style crossover clip show between The Slumgullion and the Writer's Block podcasts!

Jeff and smutty author Indy McDaniel discuss geeky stuff!

Jeff and Mary pull out their hankies and wave a tearful farewell to the TV series Bones! (I don't know, but they seem to care...)

Scott talks Kong: Skull Island and Ghost in the Shell with one third of the New Movie Crew!

Scott and Jeff squeeze their geek glands all over the new Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Star Wars!

How Do You Role Play "Silent Running"?

Season 2, Episode 6

In a very special edition of The Slumgullion, Jeff and Scott are joined by Sleepy Hollow Executive Producer/Showrunner Albert Kim. They talk about the show in general, last week's episode in particular, and tonight's finale in vague, teasing terms. They also talk a surprising amount about 70's sci fi.

NOTE: Massive Special Thanks to Christina Gorski at Fox PR. This would not have happened without her, and it is appreciated.

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Why Aren't Any of the Other Kids Mexican?

In Season 2, Episode 5, Jeff and Scott are joined by the New Movie Crew (John Szura, Blanche Ramirez and Indy McDaniel) for an in depth, spoiler-filled analysis of Logan. Mary Clevenger joins Jeff for their continuing Socratic dialogue about Bones. Plus! A super special fudgey crunchy chocolatey coco chat at the end.

Anyone Can Be Gene Shalit

It's an Unknown Movie Challenge special!

In a heaping helping of happiness, Jeff and Scott break schedule intentionally with a special minisode. 

Jeff has seen Beauty and the Beast, Scott has seen the musical Finding Neverland, and both of them have seen Get Out. 

(Hint:  the one with the probable smallest budget is the best.)

I Went Straight For Ten Minutes!

Welcome to Season 2, Episode 4. Jeff returns! To scream at Scott! First, Jeff and Mary catch up on the last few episodes of Bones; then Scott and Jeff are joined by suave Brit Dave Probert, of the Twice as Bright, Half as Long podcast, to chat briefly about Logan, the new Twin Peaks, 50 Shades Darker, and Erich von Stroheim as The Batman. Scott reports from the premiere of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 pilot, then Dave brings us the Trojan Horse-like gift of A Pound of Flesh, a 2015 movie starring Jean-Claude Van Damme's naked, naked ass.


P.S. Here's a link to the piece Scott wrote about the Lou Ferrigno Hercules movie mentioned on the show.

The Great Drywall

Jeff is missing!  Blanche has had Drambuie on an empty stomach! And China's elite Color Swatch Squad is fighting monsters on the Great Wall while tasting the rainbow. Mary has nostalgic news about Star Wars toys, everybody puts on suspenders and defends their favorite underrated Sci Fi films from the death penalty, and Matt Damon makes a special appearance to collect his check.

A Very Lesbian Valentines Day

Due to technical difficulties, your regular Slumgullion has been delayed a few days. In the meantime, we present this St. Valentine's Day special, starring Tina Louise, of Gilligan's Island fame, as Sappho, Venus of Lesbos:

Now For Something Not All That Different

Hey, Slumgullibles. Indy McDaniel -- friend o' the Show, frequent guest, and author of the Nadya's Nights series (new volume coming soon) -- has started a YouTube channel with his lovely wife Brittany called Random Viewings, and as with The Slumgullion, the title is pure Truth in Advertising.

"It's random people watching random things and then talking about em," Indy told us. "Movies, TV shows, whatever. If we can watch it, we're gonna talk about it." And there's nothing you can do to stop them!

So, anyway, you should check it-- 

"Softcore porn..." Indy whispered. "Not so softcore porn..."

Well...Okay, then. Click the link above and-- 

"Seriously," he continued. "We're gonna watch everything."

Okay, now it's just a threat. But I'd recommend giving it a look, if only because forewarned is forearmed.

"Remember After The Licking Scene...?"

Starring Scott Clevenger, Jeff Holland, and Mary Clevenger. With Special Guest Hank Parmer

What starts out as white-hot hatred for Francis Ford Coppola somehow turns into a spoiler filled, non-spoiler review of the new M. Night Shyamalan film, Split.

After Jeff and Mrs. C discuss their bi-weekly Boner, Scott and Jeff and joined by World O' Crap writer Hank Parmer for an in depth analysis of the metaphorical cannibal western horror comedy Ravenous, featuring performances that range from the inexcusable to the tripolar (and one that's actually good)

Now THESE Guys Are Gay

Season 2, Episode 1.

With Scott Clevenger, Mary Clevenger, and Jeff Holland; and featuring Indy McDaniel as The Storyteller.

New season, new theme song.

Jeff gets depressed over the death of an icon. Scott cheers him up with a game. Jeff and Mrs. C get geeky over Bones and, in the UMC, Jeff and Scott look at two very early Lifetime films.

Things To Come

As promised and/or threatened in the Year End Special, we'll be posting a schedule of films for the Unknown Movie Challenge, so you may, if you're so inclined, bone up before the podcast. You can also go all multimedia on our asses and send in your own thoughts on the subject film. MP3s received before Thursday, January 12 will be played on this weekend's show. Emails will be read on the following episode. Send your musings, mullings, low comedy and high dudgeon to: theslumgullion@aol.com.

This week's UMC will be a twofer of hubris and homosexual subtext on the Leopold and Loeb killings -- Alfred Hitchcock's ROPE, with Jimmy Stewart and Farley Granger, and 1959's COMPULSION, with Dean Stockwell and Orson Welles.

A more comprehensive list of upcoming films will be posted as soon as Jeff recovers from his kidnapping and transportation across state lines for immoral purposes.